epic coaching logoAre you looking for a coach? Do you know what a coach does and what you can expect in a coaching relationship? Do you know the difference between coaching, consulting,counseling, and mentoring? Here are some answers to those questions.

First some definitions. According to the International Coach Federation (ICF), coaching is defined as:

“partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

Creative Results Management (CRM) defines coaching this way:

“Christian coaching is an on-going intentional conversation that empowers a person or group to fully live out God’s calling.”

And Linda Miller and Chad Hall submit this definition in their book, Coaching for Christian Leaders:

“Christian coaching is a focused Christ-centered relationship that cultivates a person’s sustained growth and action.”

This simple chart might help you understand the difference between coaching, consulting, counseling, and mentoring.

Coach chartIf this description of coaching sounds interesting to you I invite you to contact me. I’d be happy to explore with you how epic coaching can help you get unstuck and go further faster.

Downloadable version of chart:  coaching chart

epic coaching logoBefore you choose a coach you should find out a little about the way they would coach you. What kind of training have they had? What are their core coaching values, their basic coaching assumptions, and their methods? This is the first in a series to answer those questions about my coaching.

I was trained by Creative Results Management, completing their CORE coach training in 2012 and their EXCEL training in 2013. I am a member of ICF (International Coach Federation) and am currently pursuing the ACC certification.

My coaching philosophy follows closely what Linda Miller & Chad Hall describe in their book: “Coaching for Christian Leaders.” I will excerpt their work here. (Please refer to chapter 1 of Coaching Christian Leaders for the complete text.)

Christian coaching is a focused Christ-centered relationship that cultivates a person’s sustained growth and action.

Focused. Christian coaching is purposeful in intent. The focus in a coaching relationship is always on the person being coached and supporting that person’s growth and action.

Christ-centered. The assumption in Christian coaching is that the coach is a Christian while the person being coached may or not. The coach’s faith impacts the entire coaching relationship.

Relationship. Each Coaching relationship is unique. It is a relationship with a commitment. The commitment is to Christ and to the person being coached.

Cultivates. Through coaching conversations the person being coached is able to focus on specific personal opportunities or challenges, anticipate barriers, identify resources, and develop an action plan.

Sustained growth and action. Coaching is about transformation. Coaching always results in action. The coach supports the person being coached in developing action plans as well as systems of accountability for following through on those plans.

(p.12 – Coaching for Christian Leaders)

I’d be happy to talk with you about how coaching can benefit you. Contact me and let’s start the conversation!

bathroom scaleOkay, so I’m not a doctor or a dietician. I’m just sharing from my personal experience here. So treat this for what it is.

I’ve had a history of yo-yo dieting where my weight would fluctuate in a range of  20-25 lbs. About 18 months ago I decided that this was just craziness! And it was impacting my health – high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc. So I lost 30 lbs through this amazing diet secret. I ate less and exercised more. That’s it. No real secret here.

And I kept most of it off for a few months. But last summer I began to gain back a pound or two every month and pretty soon I had gained 10 lbs. So now I’m back on the program. Eating less and exercising more – a lot more. But I’m finding this time that the weight is much more stubborn. In the past 10 weeks I have lost 7 lbs. Don’t get me wrong. I’m pleased with the progress. The gut is shrinking again and I’m on the verge of dropping a pant size. I had to get a smaller wedding ring. But it just seems that I should be further along than I am.

That’s when I have to remind myself that I gained those 10 lbs over a period of about 6 months with some significant over indulgence during two vacation weeks (San Diego’s Little Italy & the Minnesota State Fair) followed by the extended holiday gluttony season through the end of the year. My point is that I didn’t gain all the weight in two months so I shouldn’t be surprised that I didn’t lose it that fast either. When I compare the actual time it took to gain to the amount I’ve lost in ten weeks, I am way ahead (no pun intended!). At this rate I would be on track to lose 21 pounds in 6 months and I only want to lose a total of 15. So it’s time to stay the course – keep eating smarter (more raw veggies, chicken, and fish; less fast food, starch, and sweets) and keep up the exercise. I’m almost half-way to my goal.

So if you are working at taking off a few pounds let me leave you with this:

1) Good for you! It’s great to take charge of your health and to work toward a healthy weight!

2) You’re in it for the long haul. You didn’t achieve your weight in one day, month, or even in one year. It will take time to shed those unwanted pounds. Remember, the Biggest Loser is not real life. Most of us don’t get a celebrity personal coach to keep us on track.

3) Start today by eating less of the bad stuff (you know what I mean) and by exercising at some level. Walk further today than you did yesterday. Repeat as needed.

4) Celebrate each pound you lose – (not with chocolate!) – because it puts you one pound closer to your goal.

5) Managing your weight will likely improve your health and might even extend your life so that you can enjoy more years with your children and grandchildren. Do it to give them the gift of your presence.

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When I began coaching I wanted a way to keep notes of the coaching conversations and the action steps that my coaching clients made. When I completed the C.O.R.E. training through Creative Results Management they impressed upon me the importance of keeping a Reflective Journal to evaluate my own progress as a coach what I am learning.  I want to combine these two functions in one place so I purchased a Moleskine Caheir Journal for each client. On one page I kept session notes and I used the facing page as my Reflective Journal.

This process worked well for several months but there were a few glitches. There were times when I had an early morning coaching session and I had forgotten to bring that client’s notebook home with me. That required that I swing past the office on my way to the session. It also meant that my Reflective Journal was divided up into multiple notebooks which made it difficult to observe patterns or progress.

Then my mentor-coach – Dave DeVries – mentioned that he created a Coaching Prep Form in Google Docs for his clients to submit prior to each session. This sounded like an idea that I could use in my search for a convenient way to combine session notes and journaling. In a matter of a few minutes I had created a similar Coaching Prep form and a separate Coaching Notes form with an attached Reflective Journal. It was so easy! And if you’re not familiar with the forms application in Google Docs you can read the submission in a spread sheet which makes it very easy to review. I simply pull up the client’s form on my iPad where we can both see it and then toggle over to my Coaching Notes form to enter notes during our conversation. At the end of each conversation I take a few minutes to record my entries in the Reflective Journal section of my Coaching Notes before pressing “Submit.”

I did wonder if taking notes at a keyboard during coaching conversations would be distracting to the client. In every case my clients were fine with it and after using this system multiple times with each of them there have been no issues. I found this system to work so well for me that I created another form to use for staff meetings I attend.

What system do you use to make your coaching, journaling, or note taking more effective?

It was a seminal moment for me.

I recently attended a week of CORE coaching training put on by the good people of CRM. In a group of 30 active and aspiring coaches we were pulled, pushed, and stretched into a new way of helping people discover what God is already doing in their lives and how he is already speaking to them. Simply put it was the finest training experience of my life!

For most of us (and certainly for me) whenever we are in a group discussion or review we always want to offer our solutions. After all, our vast experience and superior knowledge on the subject is just what the other person or the group needs at the moment! It was nice of them to ask your opinion because you certainly have one!

Coaching isn’t like that. At the heart and soul of coaching is the art of asking questions that guide people through a process of self-discovery to a solution that they design and choose. The coach doesn’t offer solutions, tell about their own experience, or tell them what they “ought” to do. The goal in coaching is for the coach to speak only 20& of the time! The strength of this process is that people are much more likely to implement a decision that they made themselves than a decision that is forced on them.

Throughout the week we had several practice live coaching sessions with other group members. These were usually limited to 15-20 minute sessions while an actual coaching session is more likely to last anywhere from 45-90 minutes. But I was amazed at how much coaching could be accomplished in such a short period. It was one of those practice sessions that changed everything.

I was in a coaching triad where we did a ’round-robin’ series of three coaching sessions Each member of the triad had a turn as a coach, a coach, and an observer. It was a 20-minute session of epic life transformation! That got my attention. I left that training committed to pursuing coaching as a central component to my ministry and life. I’m already in the process of inviting several people to enter into a coaching relationship that will help them make some important life decisions and achieve some significant goals in life and ministry. I’d be happy to talk with you about how a handful of coaching sessions could be beneficial to you, too!

(Introduction to a 5 part series)

Secondchair church leaders don’t preach very often. It’s not part of their role. I preach 2-3 times per year and that’s fine with me. I’ve been a sr pastor before and preached every Sunday but I prefer teaching in groups over preaching. This Sunday I am filling the pulpit while our sr pastor is gone. I have chosen to speak on the topic of Generosity. I am approaching the topic with this thread:

Generosity is an attribute of God. He is generous toward us because we are his treasure.

Generosity is an attribute of a Christ-follower. They are generous toward God and others because Jesus is their treasure.

We will dive into 2 Corinthians 9.6-15 and explore our motives for giving. Do we give out of obligation? Do we give to get? Or do we give to give more?

So, I was just wondering? How has God demonstrated his generosity toward you recently? Would you care to share your story?

The RiverMusician Michael Neale has written a very different book in this, his first writing project. The River is a novel about the  a young man (Gabriel Clarke) who is learning to come to terms with his father’s tragic death when Gabriel was a little boy. An inexperienced kayaker tried to navigate through dangerous waters and John Clarke saved him but lost his own life in The River that day. Five year old Gabriel watched it all happen. Throughout the story Gabriel is confronted by the one thing he fears most – The River.

The confrontation heats up when a old high school friend invites Gabriel to join him and a few other guys for a road trip from their home in Cairo, Kansas (where Gabriel has lived with his mother) to Colorado and the very river that took his father’s life 15 years earlier. The forced coincidences don’t end there. Gabriel meets a girl who is drawn to him over all the other guys. Tabitha works for the same whitewater adventure camp that Gabriel’s father worked for!  There’s even a yellowed newspaper clipping in the main office of a story about his father and an old man working at the camp that knew John Clarke. Later Gabriel meets the man whose life his father saved that day. (Bet you’ll never guess who he is!)

Overall, the story is interesting and engaging and it may help a number of people comes to grips with the fears in their lives. There were a few scenes in the story that were a bit too mystical for my tastes but the core story is worth these few distractions. It is an easy and enjoyable read – even if it is a bit predictable.

As a coach I might recommend The River to someone who is bound by their fears and needs the encouragement to step beyond them. In the epilogue, McNeale writes these words: “[Gabriel] joined the ranks of those who dare to leave the safety of what they’ve always known for a better place…a place they were destined for from the beginning. No Longer obligated to the chains of fear, grief, and resentment, Gabriel took hold of not who he was, but who he was to become.” (p. 287)

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their Book Review Blogger program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

bold as loveIn many ways, Bold as Love, by Bob Roberts, Jr. is a memoir or a personal testimony of what God can do in a person’s life when they are willing to follow and obey Jesus with reckless abandon. Many of the accounts that Roberts give illicit a response of “that’s unbelievable!” Bold as Love reads like and extension to the Book of Acts.

Roberts writes: “Everything is everywhere like never before in the history of humanity. The world is changing at a rapid pace, and with it your neighborhood, school, work, mall, and everywhere you go. For the first time in history, the whole world is showing up everywhere and changing the neighborhood.” (p. 10)

The whole premise of Bold as Love is that this is a good thing!

“Every great move of God has always involved migration: Noah; Abraham the pilgrim in the Holy Land; Joseph in Egypt; from Egypt to Canaan with Moses and Joshua; David to Jerusalem; and Jesus and his call for the gospel to be taken to the ends of the earth. This is how the sovereign God spread his word all through ancient history – and how he’s doing it now.” (p. 14)

Roberts’ story begins with him being a member of a United Nations think tank that included Turk al-Faisal – a Saudi prince. The Prince challenged Roberts to take steps to bring greater understanding between Christians and Muslims in Dallas, where Roberts lives and pastors. Since he knew no Muslims that would prove to be a difficult task! Undaunted, Roberts set out to host a meeting with two faith leaders: a rabbi and an imam for a ‘multifaith’ dialogue. That dialogue grew into a series of combined events one weekend at each other’s houses of worship that included all three congregations.

This simple act of faith by Bob Roberts is giving birth to conversations, relationships, and dialogue between Christians, Jews, and Muslims in a time when those conversations are extremely rare. Trust is being built, love is being expressed, and friendships are developing.

Through much of the balance of Bold as Love Roberts paints-by-numbers how to replicate this movement in our own communities. Much of what Roberts has to say is transferable and just might work in other cities and towns. Some of Robert’s experiences and success have to do with his unique place and placement. We all know that what works in Dallas (or Atlanta, or Lake Forest, or Seattle) doesn’t always work we live. We also know that the experience that Roberts has (or Stanley, or Warren, or Driscoll) are always going to be our experience. But that shouldn’t deter us from trying!

At less than 200 pages, Bold as Love is a book that you should read and then begin to have conversations in your family, with leaders in your church, and hopefully leaders of other churches and faiths to explore how we might begin to see even a tiny bit of what is happening in Dallas happen in our cities, towns, and suburbs.

Roberts closes his book with a story when he prayed alongside Muslims at a mosque but it could be a story about entering into the world of any group of people that doesn’t acknowledge the person of Jesus.

“In my heart I prayed, ‘God you love these people, and I love these people. Let me be your witness, your servant. Give me courage. Your people are here. I am here to be your witness.’

Where I am, Jesus is, because he is in me. Jesus was in that mosque as I interceded for those people. Where is Jesus on our streets? Where is Jesus at our schools? Where is Jesus at our jobs? He is where we take him. Where are we taking him? He didn’t enter us to stay cooped up, but to be bold as love.” (p. 182)

 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Handlebar Central. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

The High Calling

Posted: November 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

I’ve been reading several articles from an informative website recently that seeks to help and encourage people serve God fully in their daily work. It’s a concept that is clearly addressed in our Bibles but is often missing in our lives. Most of us would prefer not to work. We see work as a necessary evil – something we endure and barely tolerate in order to pay the bills. We are constantly in search of a job that matches our passion and brings ultimate personal fulfillment. (Try finding support for that in the Bible!)

The High Calling does a great job helping all of us view our work as our calling. A recent article by Lewis Hine addresses this point:

“Our purpose in families is no different than our purpose in work. We work to honor God by demonstrating his love to those around us, whether they have experienced that love or not. Our family relationships exist for the same reason.”

J.B. Wood had this to say in an article about an out-of-work friend who finally found a job – selling industrial brooms:

“Sometimes God lifts you up on high, and other times he kicks you to the curb to commune with the dust and sand. Some say God is teaching us humility. Others say, it is what it is—the economy, luck or timing—and you do your best with what you’ve got. You practice perserverance.

Either way, there is always an opportunity to find the redemptive in the drudgery, the positive attributes in the most menial tasks. It’s there, if you look hard enough.

Next time you find yourself cast down into the dust, instead of wallowing in it, why not grab a good broom and start sweeping up the place? “

But The High Calling is more than just a website about creating an attitude adjustment about your job. You will find dozens of articles, and video and audio posts that will inform and challenge you in a variety of areas. Their site’s subtitle is: “Everyday conversations about life, work, and God” and they have grouped their resources under headings which include: Faith, Culture, Work, Family, Attitude, and Leadership.

Regardless of your employment status or station you will find numerous helpful resources here as you seek to grow in your faith. As a second chair leader and coach I have found these articles to be personally helpful in the way I look at my daily work – my calling. The High Calling is another resource to which I can refer people whom I coach as they search for tools and resources to accomplish the goals that God has placed before them. It’s worth your time to search through this site.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received compensation from Handlebar Publishing to create this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”