In his book, Love and Respect, Emerson Eggerichs provides a series of six questions for men to use to gauge the level of their unconditional love toward their wives. Here they are, built around the acronym C-O-U-P-L-E:
1. Closeness – Am I always remembering to move toward her and accept her need to talk and connect with me to be reassured of my love?
2. Openess – Do I share my thoughts with her, and am I sure I’m not resisting her efforts to draw me out?
3. Understanding – Am I careful not to try to “fix” her every time she talks about one of her concerns or problems? Am I remembering that she is an integrated personality and whatever happens affects all of her, especially her emotions?
4. Peacemaking – Am I always willing to resolve issues, and am I careful never to say, “Let’s just drop it and move on?”
5. Loyalty – Do I constantly look for ways to tell her that I will be loyal to her forever – that she’s the one love of my life, the only woman for me?
6. Esteem – Do I always let her know that I treasure her and put highest value on her as a person? Do I let her know that what she does and thinks are important to me? Does she know I couldn’t possibly do without her?
Pretty good set of questions for self-review. Can you think of any others? Next up: questions wives can ask themselves to measure the level of their respect toward their husbands.