Love and Respect – Part 3 of 3

The previous post included Emerson Eggerich’s list of the ways that a husband spells love to his wife. This post will identify how -according to Eggerich – that a wife spells respect for her husband. He uses the acronym C-H-A-I-R-S.

He writes: “A wife . . . uses these six concepts to let him know how important and vital he is to her. Wives should ask themselves these questions:

1. Conquest – Am I always standing behind him and letting him know I support him in his work and endeavors in his field?

2. Hierarchy – Do I let him know I respect and appreciate his desire to protect and provide for me and the family? What have I done recently to communicate this?

3. Authority – Have I gone on record that, because he has the primary responsibility for me (even to die for me), I recognize him as having the primary authority? Do I let him be the leader? How have I helped in this regard?

4. Insight – Do I trust his ability to analyze things and offer solutions and not just depend on my “intuition”?

5. Relationship – Do I spend shoulder-to-shoulder time with him whenever I can? Do I let him know that I am his friend as well as his lover?

6. Sexuality – Do I honor his need for sexual release even when I don’t feel like it?

(Love & Respect, Emerson Eggerichs, p. 261)

Are these the right questions? Would you suggest others?

2 thoughts on “Love and Respect – Part 3 of 3

  1. Sharon Cohen

    While your questions are not necessarily incorrect, they could be easily misunderstood by some women in your audience. Your presentation of the Eggerichs’ teachings came across to me as cold, clinical and uncaring. If I were a new believer or a strong willed woman that you were trying to reach or a wife of an abusive husband, I would be alienated. Fortunately, your introduction is not my first introduction to the “Love and Respect” message and I am none of the above.

    I have been an eager and willing student of of the biblical instruction to wives, especially that found in Ephesians 5:33b, for the past five years. For nearly 50 years I had lived in a society that would have shun the biblical woman’s role. With that consideration, I readily admit that it can be a struggle to discover how to feel, how to act and how to communication respect for a husband.

    I have created a line of “respect cards” for women which provide them the opportunity to share respectful messages with their husbands. For wives who are familiar with the Eggerichs’ teachings the cards are categorized within the CHAIRS designations. Each card also presents a “Word to the Wives” to instruct and encourage them in their endeavors.

    I invite you and your readers to browse the messages in my cards for a vision of “how it works”.

    Reply
    1. secondchair Post author

      Sharon,
      Thanks for taking the time to comment here. I appreciate your feedback and insight. The purpose of my 3-part book review was to provide some snapshots of Eggerichs’ book. The brevity may be interpreted as being clinical and uncaring even though that was not my intent. Most of what I have posted is quoted directly from “Love & Respect.” I would encourage anyone who might read my brief review to go to the source material (Love & Respect and the biblical passages he references) to draw your own conclusions – especially if your are feeling alienated by my comments.

      Reply

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